All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
