my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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