I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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