Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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