i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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