the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
