Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
