is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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