Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
