oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
id be glad to
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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