he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
