I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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