Banned from zoo.
Again?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
