Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
