I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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