he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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