honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
