we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
