I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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