Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Come share oat with me in your robe
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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