I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
