does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
