Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
