We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
