Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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