i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
