He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize