Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
