this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
