please come you make the beer taste better
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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