You can't special order awesome
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
