is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
