I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
