turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
