Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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