also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
