Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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