I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
