yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
