Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We had sex on a dog bed..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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