I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
