so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
operation harelip BJ is a go
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
