Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
