Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
