so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
