Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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