Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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