don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
