i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
