I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My bed smells like the plague
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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