He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
